Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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