I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
