it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
