DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
my sisters under your porch take her home
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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