Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
