So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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