Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
