I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
