On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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