Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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