I didn't shave. On purpose
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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