I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
