Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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