I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
