Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
