I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
