she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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