I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
