do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
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I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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