I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
