Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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