FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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