So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
