Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
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