dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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