i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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