erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
