I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
