Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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