We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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