remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize