Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
