If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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