She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
now i know why i became what i already was.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
