strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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