Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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