I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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