just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
