Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
