I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
