I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
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I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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