No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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