Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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