NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
