How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
