...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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