He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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