Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
