C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
