she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
