K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
