He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize