I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize