I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
