just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
