If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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