everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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