I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
How naked do you want me to be?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize