are you still at the devil's house?
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
