Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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